That Was The Week That Was 24-28 January 2022
We have to talk about ITA
Those with elephantine memories can regale you with stories that go back generations of just how successful Alitalia has been. Suffice it to say that nothing that has happened this century to Alitalia comes as a surprise to those with such memories. It is all there in the archives. The first several series of this on-going soap opera. They are on BETA tape, so you might need to be quick to watch them, or, like all good soap operas, you can pick it up midstream.
And what a soap opera it has been. Normally, it is relegated to the mid-afternoon slot, but every now and then the script writers and producers demand that it get a prime time slot. When that happens, it is because the writers know there is a dramatic turn on its way. How dramatic? Sometimes in the Alitalia series, even the sharks jump sharks.
Nonetheless, and without reprising the entire show, since forever, let me catch you up. The airline was insolvent. There was a meeting of its major Italian creditors, including, of course the airports and ANSPS. It was so serious the priest had been called. Knocking on the door was DG COMP demanding the repayment of lots and lots of money that somehow had all disappeared. Then, a miracle! Money was promised and Lazarus-like, the airline flew again.
Ten years later, the airline was insolvent. There was a meeting of its major Italian creditors, including, of course the airports and ANSPS. It was so serious the priest had been called. Knocking on the door was DG COMP demanding the repayment of lots and lots of money that somehow had all disappeared. This included the amount from the last time this trick was pulled. Then, a miracle! Money was promised and Lazarus-like, the airline flew again. Only, this time, it was to be taken over by the Italian rail company. What could possibly go wrong?
Five years later, the airline was insolvent. There was a meeting of its major Italian creditors, including, of course the airports and ANSPS. It was so serious the priest had been called. Knocking on the door was DG COMP demanding the repayment of lots and lots of money that somehow had all disappeared. This included the amount from the next last time this trick was pulled. Then, a miracle! But a different miracle. This time, Alitalia was to be allowed to die, gracefully, surrounded by its family.
The family did not fight over the assets, or demand the annulment of the will, or anything like that. No, they all agreed that everything should go to ITA – a dark and mysterious character that the writers brought in and of whom the entire show was enchanted. They willingly gave over their aircraft, their staff, their slots and their name. ‘No’ claimed ITA, ‘I do not want the name’.
A meeting with the creditor – DG COMP – ensued. In a wonderful piece of script writing, we never learnt what happened at that meeting, but it must have been love. ‘Clearly’, DG COMP said, swooning, ‘ITA is not Alitalia. It is a completely new entity…’
You are now up to date with the story to the end of last season. But the new season, season 13,784, is a rip snorter. Pure prime time. ITA, the new mysterious arrival, having made off with DG COMP, runs the airline using the Alitalia aircraft, slots and staff, which it selects from those available with a keen and capricious eye (lots of back stories and reality television like moments about which and who are to be selected) and then they operate as they see fit.
Until! Until, out of the blue, two things happen. First, ITA says that its name is actually Alitalia after all! Yes, it is now going to use the name. It had squirreled away the rights and ITA says that – Surprise! – it might be called that, sometimes, just for old times’ sake.
But that is nothing compared to the new mystery suitor that has appeared on the scene. The mysterious possible buyer – Mr Lufthansa, a northern European gentleman, who long-time viewers may remember has been rebuffed before and for a short time bought the house next door to Alitalia, and the much more mysterious Mr MSC. This might be an Australian superannuation company, or a Mediterranean container shipping company…
It is with bated breath that we await the next enthralling episode…